How To Maintain Communication With A Spouse After Divorce

Whether you’ve been divorced for some time or are just beginning the process, excellent communication is key. Divorce is fraught with emotion, and even face-to-face communication can be misconstrued, much less electronic communication or messages sent through attorneys or other third parties.

Whether you are communicating to share a vacation home or pet, or need to plan for and track the life of your child/children as they move between your homes, there are a few free and paid services which can help. We’ve compiled these below, along with a few tips for healthy communication during or after a divorce.

If you need a divorce attorney, setup a free initial consultation with Jennifer Nixon to learn more about how she can work with you in your situation.

Tips For Quality Communication & Reducing Misunderstandings


Communicating with maturity starts with listening. Even if you disagree, start by conveying that you’ve understood their point of view. Listening does not signify approval, so you won’t lose anything by allowing them to voice their opinions.

Use A Neutral Tone

Approach the relationship as a business partnership. Speak or write to them as you would a colleague – with cordiality, respect, and neutrality. Relax and talk (or write) slowly and calmly.

Make Requests

Instead of making statements, which can be misinterpreted as demands, try framing as much as you can as requests. Requests can begin “Would you be willing to…?” or “Can we try…?”


Keep conversations kid-focused. Never let a discussion digress into a conversation about your needs or your co-parent’s needs; it should always be about your child’s needs only.

Possible Tools To Enhance Communication*


OurFamilyWizard is a mobile app and website designed to “reduce the stress of managing communication and family plans across separate households.” OurFamilyWizard is a paid option, but it can be worth it if communication is difficult. OurFamilyWizard has the following optional tools:

  • Shared Parenting Calendar
  • Message Board
  • Tonemeter (identifies and flags emotionally charged sentences)
  • Contact Information Bank
  • Expense Log
  • Journal
  • Notifications


Google maintains a suite of mobile app and website tools which can be used for communication within or across households. Google is also free, and many people already use their email and other tools. Chief among those tools helpful in a divorce are:

  • Google Calendar (Shared or Private)
  • Google Drive (Document Storage)
  • Gmail & Google Hangouts (Email & Messaging)


Cozi is another solution for communication, helping keep everyone on the same page. It offers:

  • Shared Parenting Calendar
  • Family Journal (share photos, videos, stories)
  • To-Do Lists


2houses facilitates communication between family members, organizing schedules and reducing conflicts. 2houses is very similar to OurFamilyWizard, and is also a tool targeted specifically to co-parents. It offers:

  • Calendar
  • Financial Management
  • Family Journal (share photos, videos, stories)
  • Contact/Finance/Medical Information Bank

*Disclaimer:The Law Office Of Jennifer Nixon does not endorse any particular tool for maintaining communication through or after a divorce. These examples are merely a sampling of the hundreds of tools available for online communication in its various forms. Feature lists are not all-inclusive.

News & Events

[06-04-2018] 4 Questions To Ask Before Hiring A Collaborative Divorce Attorney READ MORE [28-03-2018] How A Divorce In 2019 Could Cost You More Than Anytime Since The 1930s READ MORE [24-02-2018] 3 Serious Reasons Not To Represent Yourself In A Divorce READ MORE